Monday, April 17, 2006

To Stay or Go: Making Decisions in the Midst of Discouragement

Preachin' is easy, practicing is hard. The primary foundation for decisions in life is Philippians 3:10,11--to aspire to know Christ & the fellowship of His suffering to become like Him in His death, so that somehow we may attain to the resurrection of the dead.

Matthew 16:24-27 is Jesus' teaching from which I believe Paul took the concepts: To know Christ (be a learner of Christ) is to deny oneself, take up the cross, and follow Him. I take that to say it's not about my desires or even my logic; in fact, God asks me to put those to death on the altar of absolute surrender (like Abraham did Isaac). The cross to be taken up is the moment-by-moment death to self-will in trusting obedience to His will, no matter how hard or illogical that may seem sometimes.

Following Him is constantly seeking to observe the divine appointments He brings into the pathway. Every person with whom we interact is a divine appointment of supernatural proportions to some greater or lesser degree (the degree is irrelevant).

Jesus received all who would interact with Him, but He chose strategically when it came to determining who He would invest extraordinary effort and time with--the three disciples (Peter--the preacher during Pentecost when thousands came to faith, John--the apostle of love and instrumentality through which the last chapter of THE BOOK came, and James--leader of the fledgling church in Jerusalem during the time of harsh persecution); the woman at the well (whose testimony brought a whole city to Jesus); the demon-possessed man at Gadera (whose changed life changed the 10 cities of the Decapolis); etc.

Jesus was continually besieged by troublemakers or people of no faith who were manipulators or takers. He didn't focus on how exasperating they were; He focused on being an investor in difference-makers. That's what He wants us to be.

Life is 90% grunt work; 10% fun. We have to figure out how to turn the 90% into a joyful experience. It is by taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ
(2 Cor. 10:5), and choosing to joyfully see each person as a divine appointment.

The cranky or bad folks are a divine appointment in which His grace is sufficient to help us remember that they are carrying burdens we know nothing about, and we just happen to be nearby when they are groaning under the load and they misperceive us to be a bulletin board on which to staple some of their tattered disappointments--Jesus took it; so can we, because it can all be unhung in sanctuary within.

The innocuous folks are divine appointments with plodders who can teach us a lot about not needing a lot and not having to say a lot when we do have needs.

And the hopeful folks (about 25% of those in any group) are divine appointments with those who are, or God will use us to make into, living stones to be built up into a spiritual house fit for His habitation.

We are bulletin boards, observers, and builders, depending on the nature of the divine appointment in the shape of a human being God brings into our pathway.

* * * * * *

Many people tell themselves half-truths in what they've come to believe about their current situation.

(1) You can't be happy there;
(2) There's a better place to be; and
(3) Those close to me couldn't care less about staying here.

Follow this possible progression:

(1) If happiness in a place is a function of having all of your expectations fulfilled, it's true you can't be happy there.

(2) Problem is, no better place exists, because the unhappiness that drove you out of the last place is like an emotional rash that you carry to the new one. The novelty of the new adventure is a topical salve that makes the itching not so noticeable, until your familiarity in the new place starts to breed the contempt that makes you look like a bulletin board again to the new cranky folks.

(3) Those close to you, especially your children, may be emotionally disconnected from the current environment as a subconscious protection against the pain of inevitable change that always seems to happen when somebody in control of his/her life is not happy.

Now, give this progression a try:

(1) True happiness is choosing to be content with what you have and finding joy in who God is and how He is gracing you with multiplied blessings in Christ. Meditate in the first two verses of Psalm 1 and see if you need to mentally walk, stand, and sit in a different frame of reference and delight in the law of the Lord (summed in the 10 Commandments or Jesus' 2-part capsule: love God with everything you are; love people like yourself). Suddenly, the light will seem brighter in your current environment, the staples won't feel so sharp poking into the cork of your cranky-others awareness, and you'll be more of a builder of the hopeful.

(2) There is a better place to be, but it's not a different physical location. The better place to be is turning the cave you're in into an aviary by taking refuge under His wings until the emotional rash is truly healed and you are able to spread your wings of satisfaction and soar in His strength, finding the desires of your heart fulfilled because you are irrevocably delighted with Him, no matter what's going on outside His shadow under which you abide (Ps. 91:1).

(3) Watch what begins to happen to your family's emotional connection with the myriad opportunities they are refusing to connect with now due to their resignation to an impending change. Your perseverance and staying power will teach them to trust the master of the waves and winds for the faith to trust and love those who are around right now instead of staying aloof so as not to get hurt when they have to leave or when people become prickly.

It's not as simple as that, but you get the point. I firmly believe that if we are truly seeking the Lord, we will generally not leave a place in a spirit of disappointment or frustration--even if we're convinced we got there through bad logic.

Being driven away from a place because of the negatives is akin to walking backward, always glancing over our shoulder hoping to catch a glimpse of the better place.

Following Christ is to be a sheep, whose eyes are always on the Shepherd--leading, not driving, His own whom He calls by name. So long as there is green grass in which to lie down occasionally and still waters to drink from in a place in which He has us, we need fear no evil that always is lurking around. Abide in Him in peace. Persevere through the winter that comes to every context; else you miss the springtime resurrection of a loftier satisfaction in Him. Romans 5:3-5 is key in the cross-bearing journey. Trials==>Patience==>Endurance==>Hope!

You can do it. You can be and are happy! Tell yourself the truth!



Authored by Steve Nickel